Reluctance to change – dishwasher woes

Coming back from weekend – as usual migraine tags along.

Yesterday Sar and family came for dinner. Hosting dinner on a Sunday night is always tough. But Sar’s hubby work on Friday and Saturday night which makes it tough to invite them on Saturday night. Hence the need to invite them over on Sunday.

As it was a Sunday night they left by 9:15. Dishes were stacked – waiting to be washed. Here comes in the topic of discussion – my dishwasher. I am fortunate that when we bought this house – it came with almost all the modern amenities – ducted air conditioning, electronic gate, automated garage door. Well thank God Dishwasher was also one of them. Otherwise we would have never bought it. I know M and family – they have this thing – not a single dish in the wash basin. Whenever you have a single utensil….they just jump and wash it.

So this dishwasher was sitting there – not used at all…for an year or so. Because it needs dirty dishes to be collected all through the day and one round of dish-washing.   Until one day when one of my colleagues remarked that you need to use it once a week to keep it in running shape. When I mentioned it back home – there was so much reluctance in M and his parents. Who will keep the stack of utensils…we keep washing as we go. Then an Indian friend couple visited us who talked about the advantages of dishwasher. This somehow convinced them. Now very reluctantly they have agreed to use it on weekly basis.

So yesterday when Sar and family left, I and my daughter put the dishes in dishwasher and switched it on. In the morning, I got all cleaned up (steam cleaned) dishes.

Ahh…if we could just do that everyday.

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Meree Khamoshee

Meree khamoshi ko meree berukhee naa samajh eh dost
Yeh toh meree majbooree hai
Jo zubaan ke janjeer banee

Meree khamoshi ko meree kamzoree naa samajh eh sanam
Yeh toh meree mohabbat hai
Jo zubaan ke janjeer banee

Kaisee yeh zindagi…key sanson sey hum ubbey…Key dil dooba…aur hum doobey

 

Lunch Date

I went out with Meghana today for a lunch date. We had thai food and I made an amazing discovery. You can have lovely thai food -vegetarian and very affordable in the city during the weekdays. I will try to bring in the elder one – who has started pestering me to try out new cuisines.

Meghana worked with me in my last organisation – and as usual you would end up discussing what’s happening in that company. She told me that there are many roles in the organisation that might get redundant. Its amazing how God helped me out – taking me out (just in the nick of time) of a place before that company starts its firing spree. This has happened to me twice. She is worried as her Manager seems to be pestering her to train him on her skills. Its so difficult when your Manager (who ideally should be person taking care of your professional growth) tries to make your redundant – because he actually saving his ass. I tried to calm her and gave her few tips to make sure that she is able to save her position. But personally I thought it was pretty selfish of him trying to get involved in everything she does and pestering her to explain it out to him as to how she did it…

What matters the most – is that we are together

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Imagine – you are fighting with your spouse over money, fighting with your old parents for ego and dominance, fighting with your children over some stupid reason and suddenly the earth starts shaking. What will you do – you will rush and take your little kids out in safety, then help old parents to safety, make sure your spouse is out safe and then go out yourself and hug them. You pray for safety. Did you for a moment think about money, or that mobile that you scolded your child over or that piece of jewelry that you were fighting your husband with…no you think about saving the people who matter the most in your life…

When prioritizing your life, always remember what you will take along when the earthquake hits…and look after those things/people. Why I am writing this…

This was what happened with us this morning. Yesterday was not a good day. I and M were recovering from a tiff. When I returned home, I got irritated by unnecessary instructions/comments by M’s parents. I was cribbing mentally the whole evening and even while I slept. Our phone rang in the midnight…

The phone got disconnected. It was in the morning when we realized that it was M’s sister who was trying to contact us. Her hubby has had a massive heart attack, got operated and has had two stent inserted in his heart (all done while we were sleeping). The way M’s voice cracked up while talking to his sister, the way M’s mom trembled while talking to her on phone just hit me…just how trivial the issues were yesterday (that I was fretting for) while God was busy fixing such big issue.  Thank God he is stable and out of danger….

After all what is important – that we all are together and alive.

Na jaaney kaun sa pal
Maut ke amanat ho
Har ek pal ki khushi ko gale laga ke jiyo!!

When you love someone show it…

We got Papajee a mobility scooter (battery operated) meant for old people or disabled. Everyone was excited. He hid his happiness..was so happy that he couldnot stop himself from going over to garage again and again. Yet, he just couldn’t hug M and say ‘I am so happy. I love you son’. We all know he does. Does he really need to say that? That where the difference of our opinions come. I believe – when you love somebody show it; while M says why do we need to prove our love?

Papajee never let M know how much he loves M; how it feels when Dad expresses his love…just like M will never do the same to our children. Papajee/ Mum-in-law never displayed their appreciation for their children; and M will always hide his happiness, appreciation and love just like his parents did. We often don’t realise the legacy we are passing out onto our children.

As a wife, I can see his love in ways he helps me out, takes stand for me or supports me – silently. Though we have our own shares of tiffs due to this. But children who are often disciplined by him only get to see his disciplining ways, not his love.

In a bid to make up for lack of display of affection, I keep telling my children ‘I love you…now and then”. It took me months but now my son has started responding to my ‘I love you’ to ‘I love you too mum…’. I keep telling my elder one that she also needs to say that to her brother…so that they are able to share love among them. I am just scared that in this bid, M runs the risk of being alienated. He just doesn’t want to join in…the more we display love the more he stiffens up. Not sure how to handle this. Or whether I really need to fix this. My bestie says – you stay neutral and do your bit. Let them (Papa and children) manage their relationships.

Melbourne Cup day – “the race that stops the nation”

Yahaan hum zindagi kee baazee haar gaye
Aur tum ghoodon par daav lagatey rahey…

Today is Melbourne Cup day – Australia’s famous horse racing event held on the first Tuesday of November every year.  This event is popularly dubbed as “the race that stops the nation”.

The main racing event usually hosted at the Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, Victoria.  Local races, gambling event, sweeps are held throughout the country on this day and when the main race of the day occurs at the Flemington Racecourse it is broadcast-ed  across Australia.  Many people stop what they are doing shortly before 3pm on Melbourne Cup Day to watch or listen to the main race either via television, Internet or the radio.

Much ado about nothing…