On way to Dera

The elder one is recovering well from her surgery. It will take some time for the trauma to settle down for me. It’s scary…putting your child’s life at risk. I chose this for better quality of her life, and I hope that it turns out to be so. But she is happy. She is still in pain, but she is very happy.

Today is full moon day, and we are going to our native place. A countryside/ village where our master (Gurujee) resided. As usual, we are late. But we had to complete a few chores before leaving.

One of the beautiful memories is getting Jaggery (Gud/ shakkar) from the roadside. Made from sugarcane, these stalls come up in winter that sell jaggery. Amazing.

We reached around 12:30. The Langar had already started. Met our sangat there. A day very well spent.

She is in pain…

Everyone in the ICU was moved when she cried this morning when she saw me. It is painful. They say key hole surgery is easy. It is not…the pain she has is immense. Especially in shoulders and stomach. She is unable to lie down. Tomorrow, hopefully, will be a better day.

That wait…

Elder one got bariatic surgery this morning. I have been crying since yesterday. She is right now in ICU, and man, she is giving a hard time to the doctors in the ICU.  Asking questions and complaining about pain. I almost see myself in her. While M had to be away….she asked for him. I am all by myself in the private room. I visit her every hour, but it’s difficult to see your child like that. I just want her to be fine. The wait is on.

India trip – Day 1

Day 1 – We reached home at 6 AM in the morning. By 10 AM, we were out on the roads – meeting M’s parents, going to local MC office (which was closed due to state government holiday), went to bank, got local SIM, go to eSpampark,etc. People here think its winters here…while I am feeling so hot. I feel nauseated when I see people in jackets and woollens. Pollution is putting so much pressure on my skin and eyes. 

The air travel was tough again. My headache started, but then I took Diazapam (that my local GP had prescribed).  I could sleep for some hours. The immigration procedure took very long, and we faced the usual taxi woes. At the moment, sitting in the car and waiting for M.

Such life in the market

We are grandparents!

No…not one of my kids! M’s niece has been blessed by twin girls, and M and I are now officially grandparents ❤️. We called M’s brother (father of the young lady blessed with girls) and his wife. Yes, there were tense undertones as it’s been 4 years now since the family issues happened. But we did what was the right thing to do, though not an easy one. I had vowed not to take the first step any more…but the moment I heard the news and saw M struggling to make that call, I called her (my sister-in-law).

I don’t know how we humans manage to complicate such beautiful relationships…

As far as lay-off is concerned….not heard anything as of yet. But the danger looms.

Potential lay-off

Lay-off seems to be the flavour of the month. News of layoffs are all over in LinkedIn. I have seen three lay-offs in my career. The first time I knew it was coming and the last two times it was unexpected. It hurt equally all three times. I still remember each moment of that day crying while driving.

It seems to be round the corner in the current job as well. Well, that’s ok. Financially, we are fine. But, I don’t want to go through the same drill again…resume, interviews, and the adjusting in new environment.

Let’s see how this turns out to be 😐

Dil dhoonta hai…(Heart longs for…)

Today is one of those days when my heart longs for a lazy, free afternoon when I call my best friend that I am going over to her place. We sit together, eat, talk and laze around…have endless rounds of chai…go and get samosa. We used to meet everyday…yet we could chat for hours altogether. There were so many days like those…there were no family responsibilities and no worries. I miss her.

I am tired today…mentally and physically. For the past two evenings, the elder one is coming home late. I am almost sleep deprived. Yesterday, M threw a fit as he thinks she has made it a habit. There was an argument with her on phone as she wanted to stay in Uni even later and wanted to come on her own. I was so exhausted…usually I go to pick her up myself. Yesterday, I made him come along. Like why should I be the one to see her sulk. It was raining badly and then at 11:15, the moment she sat in the car, she adamantly said she wanted KFC. Like your mother is sleep deprived for two days and you now need KFC. I was almost close to tears. I know how difficult it was to get up this morning.

It’s a never ending longing…I will never ever meet anyone like her…will never ever get to spend time with her.

Migraine update

So, I have yet not told/ discussed with my family…but I think my migraine is getting a bit dormant now.

So in 2020, after I returned from India, I had been struggling with migraine a lot. It reached a peak and I opted for a daily medicine called Amitriptyline, which is a kind of an antidepressant. This medicine helped me sleep well. This medicine is known to cause weight gain as well…but had to take it. Endep, and working from home due to Covid, resulted in me getting 10 kgs heavier. And, despite that, I still got migraine. But I continued medicine as I got marginal relief. It continued well till mid 2021.

Since Oct 2021 (after 15 months), I started getting dry mouth. I thought it was onset of summers in Australia,but it continued. I tried to downplay it…but dry mouth got to the extent that I was having mints in the day, and having more than 1 litres water in the night. Yet I woke up with completely dry mouth like it had thorns. I struggled for an year, but did not want to leave/discontinue the medicine.

Last month, when my Mum/Dad were here, I decided I will discontinue the medicine. It was now getting to the point that I got depressed because of the side effects. I started reducing the dose and was off the medicine completely.

Off late…like in past 6 weeks I have been observing that I have less incidents of headache…like I had one incident of migraine when I had to have a painkiller and that too because I had infected sinus. I don’t want to jinx it and hence haven’t told that to M. But yes, definitely there has been an improvement.

Also I have started diet control now..like I have cut my daily intake by 30 percent. Lets hope discontinuing the medicine snd fasting helps me loose some inches.

We meet them…

We are planning to visit India. But like never before, this time we had a huge question of what to do with our sweetheart Charlie. I was sooooo worried that I did not even want to discuss the topic with the family. I knew the elder one would complicate things with her expectations from the Dog sitter; M would panic at the expense and the younger one would add no value to the conversation but would add more complexity to the Dog sitter choice.

We did not want to ask for a favour from our friend circle as we could not offer money. But at the same time wanted a loving family to care for Charlie.

I started praying…asking my Almighty to give a solution. I told him – see he is your dog. You sent him to us. So now you take care of him. You arrange for his stay. He is your responsibility, not ours.

Then one morning M said that his colleague’s family is a young family and they have recently lost their dog. I will ask if they want to dog sit and guess what they agreed.

We did the meet and greet this weekend. And they are perfect and perfect backyard. They lived Charlie and are already planning to have him. They just love him. I am so thankful to my Lord 🙏. I am satisfied.

I know leaving him behind will be painful…but I am happy that he will be in a loving home 💕

Is it shell, gol or gappe🤷‍♂️??

These days my entire family is down with sore throat and cold. After three days of struggling with extreme blocked nose and throat issues, I (like a true spirited North India) decided we will make Gol Gappe/ Panipuri on Thursday (a public holiday in Australia to remember the Queen). In North India, we call it Gol Gappe and that’s how we call it in our household.

I usually bring a large pack of Puri and then deep fry them to puff them up into crisp balls. M is responsible for spicy water. In addition to water ready to be used, he usually makes concentrate for that water as well,so that we can keep having them later.

The younger one particularly enjoyed the treat last evening. So the puffed balls were finished. Just before I am about to call it a day and switch off my bed side lamp, he comes into the room and hugs me. I was like…are you ok? He said, the empty shells are finished. Can you make some more so that I can have for breakfast? I was confused…asked what shells? He says..thise empty shells..don’t know what you call them when they are dry…gol or gappe…but can you please make them in the morning? For a minute, M and I really started thinking 🤔 😃😃